What’s the worst thing to ever happen to sandwiches? The answer my friends is Miracle Whip. For 78 years this vile substance has been invading our sandwiches. Nothing is worse than biting into a delicious looking sandwich and finding that instead of some nice delicious mayonnaise, you have been tricked into tasting Satan’s semen.
ANNNDDD… for the love of Jeff Goldblum STOP CALLING MIRACLE WHIP “MAYONNAISE”!!!! It is not fucking mayonnaise. It is whipped salad dressing, and it is gross.
I bought a sandwich at the little cafe in the store I work at today. It clearly stated that the sandwich had mayo. I paid $7.02 in total for this sandwich and a delicious chocolate milk and that includes my 20% employee discount. It turned out that the sandwich was loaded up with miracle whip. I don’t think it’s too much to ask that when someone pays that much for a fucking sandwich, that it contains fucking mayonnaise and not fucking miracle whip.
Next time, I’m getting fucking mustard on my fucking ham and swiss.