10 Movies Ashley Must See in Order to Understand My Sentences

My friend Ashley doesn’t watch too many movies, which could be a problem trying to understand my sentences.  She proposed that I make a list of 10 movies she should see.  I agreed to this, on one condition:  she would actually watch all of them and allow me to do a follow-up article.  So I embarked on making this list and in the process it showed me how nerdy I really am.  Some choices were obvious to me, others not so obvious, but I am satisfied with the end result.

– The Star Wars Trilogy

Okay, Maybe this is a little more than one movie.  It’s three movies to be exact, and they are so awesome that I am cheating and counting them as one.  In reality, it is one story, so why not count it as one movie.  Looking beyond the surface of these three movies, you will see layers of emotional depth.  Star Wars is a story of struggle, conflict, love, family, friendship, heroism, personal sacrifice and ultimately redemption.  The prequel trilogy is optional, because it kinda’ blows.

Fuck you George Lucas.

– Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Monty Python and the Holy Grail takes a ridiculously comedic spin on the classic tale of King Arthur and his search for the holy grail.  Now when I ask Ashley to estimate the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow, she’ll know exactly what to do.

– Ladies and Gentlemen:  The Rolling Stones

Maybe this film won’t help Ashley understand any of my sentences, but It will certainly help her understand why I absolutely worship the Rolling Stones and their music.  Mick Jagger’s power house voice, Keith Richards’ choppy rhythms and raunchy backing vocals, Mick Taylor’s incredibly fluid guitar solos, Bill Wyman’s thundering bass and Charlie watts’ holding it all together.  This 1972 concert film captures the Stones at what is arguably their musical peak.

– The Indiana Jones Original Trilogy

I know, I know…. I’m cheating again.  These three movies are a must watch though.  Indiana Jones is the epitome of manliness.  He is both incredibly intelligent and incredibly badass.  The newest one of course is optional, because it’s pretty horrible.

Fuck you George Lucas and Steven Spielberg.

– Jurassic Park

Three words… GENETICALLY ENGINEERED DINOSAURS!!!!!

– Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan

A tale of revenge.  Genetically engineered super human Khan Noonien Singh will stop at nothing to get revenge on one Admiral James T. Kirk, even if it means sacrificing himself and his crew.  The events culminate in a battle of superior intellect vs. greater experience.  The story has similar themes to that of Melville’s Moby Dick, even going so far as to using direct quotations from the novel.  The Wrath of Khan ends as a tale of the ultimate personal sacrifice as the crew of the Enterprise encounters a no-win scenario whilst facing Khan.   It forces us to ask ourselves;  do the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one?

– This is Spinal Tap

A “mockumentary” centered around the fictional British band Spinal Tap as they attempt an American comeback.  This film really points out the musical and life style excesses of rock music at the time, even if it is exaggerated a bit.  On top of all that, it’s just absolutely hilarious.

– Airplane

Filled to the brim with ridiculous gags and one liners.  What happens when the flight crew all become ill?  This movie is what happens.  Starring Robert Hays and the late-great Leslie Nielson.

– Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie

I can’t begin to explain how big a part of my childhood this movie was, even though I was only 2 years old when it came out.  These turtles were awesome, and Casey Jones was a badass.  I cherished the VHS copy I had.

– Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

After years of conflict the Federation and the Klingon Empire prepare to talk peace.  Something disastrous happens along the way and Kirk and McCoy are put on trial for the assassination of the Klingon High Chancellor.  Perhaps a plot that really hits home as it draws parallels to the end of the cold war.  It even comes with an English accented, Shakespeare quoting villain, what more could you ask for?

That’s it for the list.  A follow-up is soon to come, once Ashley actually watches all of these.

Things I’m Nostalgic About II

A continuation of https://wademack.wordpress.com/2011/03/16/things-im-nostalgic-about/

This is a list of things that I’m nostalgic about.  They all give me a warm and fuzzy feeling inside.  Most of them were a common part of growing up in my area in the 90′s and early 2000′s.

– The sound of Mr. Dressup’s scissors 

There was nothing like the crunching sound made by this magical dual-bladed cutting instrument.  Many a sheet of construction paper did I devour trying to make my Crayola safety scissors sound the same.

– Blowing into my “Shadows of the Empire” cartridge to make it work

Blowing into a game cartridge was always the first step in troubleshooting.  I just wanted to run around as Dash Rendar and shoot some stormtroopers.  You could also use the cheat codes and float through walls n’ shit.

– “The littlest hobo” was the best show on TV (if you had two channels)

A stray German Shepard who wanders from town to town, helping people in need?  Sign me up.  It was better than TV church.

– Dunkaroos were the king of the lunch box, but they never came with enough icing

Who couldn’t love cookies dunked in icing?  It’s basically candy, and that’s what I wanted.  You never quite had enough icing for all the cookies though.

– The sound of a computer connecting to the internet

I can still remember a time when connecting to the internet involved tying up the phone line for the seemingly 17.5 hours it took to download a 30 mb file.  We put up with it, because it was all we knew.

– Inspector Gadget was a moron

One thing was apparent in this cartoon I held so dear.  The protagonist was a bumbling idiot, but he always got the job done in the end (maybe with a little help from Penny and Brain) and that is admirable.

– I only ever saw worlds 1, 4 and 8

I honestly can’t remember a time where I didn’t take the warp zones whilst playing “Super Mario Bros”.  The only worlds I know are the first, fourth and eighth.