I sell home electronics at a big box retail store. I get asked alot of questions in the run of a day, but some stand out more than others.
I decided to make a list of the top 5 questions I get asked. I also gave an explanation of what I would like to give as an answer to each, but can’t for obvious reasons.
– Can you tell me where the bathroom is?
I would never tell a customer this, but it’s actually quicker for them to hop in their car, drive to the nearest convenience store and use the bathroom there. You see, our bathroom is located all the way at the other end of the store.
– Do you work here?
No, I just enjoy hanging out at stores all day in nice clothes. I also enjoy stealing the employee’s name tags and wearing them for shits and giggles.
– Can I speak to a manager?
Sure you can, but honestly you would have been outa here a lot quicker if you would have let me help you with that price adjustment. Most customer issues where I work don’t require a manager to solve.
– Is that price the best you can do?
Does this look like a fucking flea market? Unfortunately asking big box retail stores to haggle on price is like asking a vending machine to drop its price on a bag of spicy nacho doritos.
– Can you change the channel to the Insert random sports team game?
As much as I enjoy watching the occasional sporting event on TV, if I wanted to watch said event you wouldn’t have to ask me that question.